this is my favourite of mine so far, don’t take credit
They had never met before, but decided to hug it out in the middle of an airport terminal.
He’s stepping on her toe!
There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book.
People be like
“It’s colder than i thought it would be in hell.”
“Didn’t anyone tell them I’m claustrophobic?”
“Umm…you guys…can you like…dig me up…I’m 6 feet under the ground in a coffin with my phone so uhhh yeah…”
“Omg, Satan is so funny!”
“Hell isn’t that bad, at least you get internet :)”
“Hitlers a badass!”
“I’m gonna stop by some of your houses, see you guys soon”
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I have developed a reflex action to stop the pizzas flying off the seat whenever I emergency brake.